Are you aware I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), and after that take advantage of the flash films/games since the icing in the teenage-annoyance cake. So when the editor pushed it’s free to play diepio here in my opinion, I had been suspicious.
Initially, I assumed to ask: “How did you know I employed to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not just, should i was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to monitor down younger me but, basically if i was right, he would know I used to be into the bastard. Then the editor would foil living plans by occasionally whispering within my ear: “hey, keep this in mind gem of a Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little confidence We have left.
Similar to most narratives, I found myself asked who’s tale it was actually. So, one splash of water around the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but rather just asking me my name. Although, noticing this was an internet based multiplayer title, I assumed I’d hide how I’d be examining this game having a critical eye as part of my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like most free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts with a whisper. You are a runt, the bottom of a pile, in the bad world seeking to shoot you in the back of the top. Or perhaps a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes along with other tanks. Thus I did the obvious thing: I blew throughout the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging every one of the circle with names upon them. Yes, the aesthetic may be recreated with MS Paint and one and only thing which is missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me choosing upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. Something which became immediately obvious was that when I planned to have more than a kid in a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i then would need to pick regen at some point. Without them, I might be worn down over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled beyond the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked generally if i wanted a piece of equipment-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or to be able to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly such as a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the type of simpleton to experience as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out of anxiety about confusion otherwise, I went with the assault rifle option on my tank.
In the long run, like other things, my time with Diep.io stumbled on an end once i began picking fights with some other players. Despite the greatest damage output I could possibly muster, one of the most speed, a large regen pool, and much more health than I knew how to deal with, other players were quickly in a position to put me during my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside by having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.